By Jeff Salter
Well, folks, I’m finally returning to the Saturday Samples, and happy to have y’all visit this weekend.
For those who have seen any of my three previously-posted samples, you’ll understand they’ve been sequential, from the (more-or-less) beginning of my story, Rescued
By That new Guy in Town.
This fourth sample picks up at the beginning of Chapter Three, immediately after the cop has apprehended Kristen Prima (in her sexy witch costume) and the handsome, mysterious new guy in town — who, so far, has not even revealed his actual name. He’s
dressed as a pirate and both had been inadvertently left inside the abandoned armory building after the county-wide Halloween festival.
“What’re you love birds doing out here by this back door?” The policeman had a pistol in one hand, a flashlight in the other, and his cruiser’s spotlight was still in our faces.
I tried to shield my eyes. “We’re not love birds.” That cop was already on my wrong
“Well, I just helped her outta jail and I was on my way home.” The pirate.
“Jail-break, huh. I hadn’t heard anything about that yet.”He eyed my revealing
“No, Officer, you don’t understand. He didn’t mean prison jail, he meant the jail for
community charity.” I pointed over my shoulder toward the huge overhead door to
the motor pool bay. “You know, the big Halloween deal. Nobody paid my bail.”
“No bail, you’re back in jail.” He waggled his pistol.“Move over to the vehicle and put
your hands on the hood. Feet apart.”
The pirate looked at me like I had something to do with this predicament. “Uh, Officer,
this is all a mistake.”
“Yep. Every person I’ve ever stopped says that very same thing.” His eyes moved from my bosom and surveyed my legs and stilettos. “But I’ve never caught a hooker and
john at the armory before.”
It took a second to register. “Hooker? I’m not a hooker, you idiot! I’m a witch!” I
immediately regretted using the word idiot.
As he cleared his throat, the policeman resumed his visual search of my bosom. Did he think I had any weapons in there?
“So, who’s your john supposed to be?”
“Well, I lost some of my stuff inside but the package said ‘Captain Blood’.”
“What’s that about blood? Who’s inside?” The officer pressed the transmit button on his
collar radio. “Dispatch? City Unit One-Six. Yeah, Corporal James…”
I interrupted. “No. No blood. He’s a pirate, for heaven’s sake. You know: Halloween party. Witch. Pirate. You could have come as a Policeman.” Shut up, Kristen.
James frowned as he muttered into his transmitter and listened to the reply. “Okay, Sarge said to bring you two in.”
“In where? For what?” I sputtered. When you shiver and sputter at the same time, it sometimes sends flecks of spittle on nearby law enforcement. He reacted like he’d been
The corporal reached behind his back for cuffs and flipped them onto the pirate’s wrist.
“Turn around real slow.” James flinched when he saw the rubber knife. He’d probably missed it before because he was so focused on me. “Hold real still.” He pulled the toy weapon from the pirate’s waistband like he was de-fanging a cobra. Then he stepped back and examined it. “Couldn’t afford a real knife?” The cop tossed it in the front seat. He finished patting down the pirate and turned to me.
“Officer, you can take my word for it. I got nothing you need to pat me for.” I loosened
another top button and held apart my lapels. He got a really good view of my cleavage and most of the front of the bustier. Then I un-tucked the hem of my blouse and revealed the waistband of my short skirt.
“Uh, okay. Keep holding that up and turn around real slow.”He got a great look at my
derrière too. “Well, under the circumstances, I guess you could say I patted you down.”
Yeah, I could still feel the burning imprint of his eyes on my rump.
“Stick out your hands.”
I shivered as I rolled my eyes. What a nightmare. The policeman roughly clipped the other cuff on my wrist and I was tethered to the swashbuckler! “Hey!”
James shrugged as he placed his flashlight back in the aluminum loop on his heavy belt. “I only got one pair, so you’ll have to share.”
“Not necessary. Let the pirate have ‘em both. I promise I won’t go anywhere.” Couldn’t get far in those heels anyway, even if it wasn’t so cold outside. “I’ll be happy just to be inside your warm car.”
“Well, head that way now, but you’re stayin’ cuffed. You say you’re not a hooker, but we’ll see what the Sarge says when he runs you in the database.”
I was cold, exhausted, and getting really ticked-off at everybody. Beginning with the co-volunteers who’d left me locked in a cage, the new guy in town who’d stumbled through my belated rescue, and the rather dense Verdeville cop who intended to drive us to his
“What were you two doing back at that armory? Stealing? Vandalism? Making-out?”
I just shook my head.
“None of those. We both got locked in.” My seatmate spoke up.
“Both of you?” The officer shook his head. “Don’t buy it. Maybe one person gets locked in, but not two.”
“We did! Separately, of course.” I was near tears again.
“One of you was sandbagging.” The corporal looked at me.
“I don’t even know what that means but if anybody was bagging sand, it was this pirate!” I pointed in case it was necessary.
James rubbed his chin. Sometimes it must be difficult to identify a sandbagger, whatever that is. “But anyhow, you refused to leave. That’s ‘entering and remaining’.
You’ll need a lawyer if you don’t want to stay in jail overnight.”
“I was working this event!”
“Back to hooker. Get a good lawyer.”
I hope you’ve enjoyed this excerpt enough to want to read more. For a look at my three previously posted samples, please scroll back to Nov. 2, 16, and 30 of last year. Or, of course, you could buy the book for $2.99:
Now, also available in audio format from Amazon’s Audible.com. Barnes & Noble sells the Nook version. All major e-formats available from AstraeaPress.com.