Take Two... on Romance
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Write by Salter  
             -- a blog

A bit about writing &
a few observations on life.

Noticing what's around me & sharing it with you.

Goodreads

I'm Talking Turkey

2/27/2017

2 Comments

 
... But Some Thought it Was Fishy
By Jeff Salter

Stuff happens to me. The subject this time is Turkey. 
I'm at Arby's ordering a sandwich and ask the clerk which one of the three new turkey s/w is most popular. She doesn't know ... but the manager comes over and gives me the detailed breakdown. I order the "New Grand Turkey Club" (which does not taste nearly as majestic as it sounds). 
My point here is that all three of us have been talking TURKEY for about 5 minutes. So I wait for my order to come up.
The clerk who took my order makes eye contact and says my s/w is ready. I pick up the bag and thank her... and exit.
I'm in my truck backing out when she comes racing out the door waving broadly. I know I got the correct change, so it's not about money. Maybe she's a reader who wants info about my novels, I think. As if.
I roll down my window.
"You've got two fish in that bag," she explains, breathing heavily from the exertion.
"You mean, this bag, that you gave me?" I ask rhetorically, attempting to put the responsibility back where it belongs.
"That's not your order. That's fish." She reaches for the bag.
"I'll bring yours back out," she says over her shoulder as she races to the counter with the bag of fish.
I don't figure to wait in my truck, because I don't know if I'll ever see a sandwich I paid $5 for. So I go back inside. The guy whose fish I had gives me a narrow look.
I just smile. What's the penalty for stealing two fish s/w when you were given a bag with alleged turkey?
The manager hands me a bag and says, "This is YOUR sandwich." Almost like she's warning me not to try this caper again.
- - - -
Actually, even though the girl handed the bag directly to me, the true owner of that order remarked (when I re-entered) that he'd thought it was quite a coincidence that I had ordered the same thing he'd ordered. 
That made me think the girl had mentioned what was in the bag. But I didn't hear anything except, "Here's your order, Sir."
* * * * * * 
This is a true story from Possum Trot, four years ago this month.


2 Comments

Relationship Advice from Odd Places

2/20/2017

2 Comments

 
Sober Advice About Women
By Jeff Salter

I was not eavesdropping, but could not help overhearing this conversation between two guys in the locker room at the 'YMCA' today.
Guy # 1 seemed to be consoling his friend and his voice sounded quite compassionate as he said: "...never let a woman hold your wallet or your watch."
That caught my attention. I couldn't quite hear Guy # 2's reply, but he seemed to affirm that platitude.
​Then Guy # 1 repeated: "Nope ... you never let a woman hold your wallet or your watch ..."
It seemed there was more and I longed to hear the summation of his wise counsel. However, one of them apparently noticed I was within earshot ... and their conversation abruptly ended.
It would have been remarkable advice even if Guy # 1 wasn't all of about 11 years old ... and Guy # 2 (slightly larger) couldn't have been more than 12.
True story.
One wonders how that little chap already has so much experience with women.
- - -
TRUE story, from about five years ago...
2 Comments

It's Only a Cheese Sandwich

2/17/2017

6 Comments

 
By Jeff Salter
The following was an actual conversation between husband and wife... with annotations clarifying what each really meant. I'll let you decide who the husband and wife are...
His words: "I got some cheese slices. Can you show me how to make a grilled cheese sandwich?"
** [His meaning: "I'm hungry. Please make me a sandwich."]
Her reply (pointing): "That skillet is clean. You'll need butter, bread, and cheese."
** [Her meaning: "You asked for instructions and that's what you'll get."]
His words: "Uh, where do you put the butter?"
** [His meaning: "Are you sure you don't want to do this?"]
Her reply: "Butter one side of each slice."
** [Her meaning: "This is a teaching moment."]
He butters bread, turns on the heat as indicated, places bread in skillet, adds cheese when instructed, adds other bread slice when told to, and flips over the whole assembly when told.
Her words: "That wasn't so hard, was it?"
** [Her meaning: "It's a lot harder than it looks from the standpoint of someone involved only in the consumption."]
His reply: "Lots of steps."
** [His meaning: "I can't believe you made me do this."]
Her words: "So how does it taste?"
** [Her meaning: "Not as good as mine, is it?"]
His reply: "It's okay."
** [His meaning: "I still can't believe I had to make it myself."]
Her words: "What do you mean only okay? What's wrong with it?"
** [Her meaning: "You didn't do it right."]
His reply: "It's okay... nothing special."
** [His meaning: "It didn't stand a chance because you made me make it myself."]
Her words: "Well, there is one big difference from the ones I make."
** [Her meaning: "Here's the rest of the story."]
His reply: "What's that?"
** [His meaning: "Here we go... rubbing it in."]
Her answer: "Well, you used American Cheese."
** [Her meaning: "You should've bought the right stuff."]
His reply: "You mean this only works with one kind of cheese?"
** [His meaning: "Why didn't you say so about 10 minutes ago?"]
Her answer: "I always use cheddar."
** [Her meaning: "Yes, different cheeses taste differently."]
His final thought: "I thought cheese was cheese. It's the same color."
** [His meaning: "I can't believe I had to make it myself."]
- - - -
Do you and your significant other ever have conversations like this?

6 Comments

Holiday Gift: Rescued By That New Guy in Town

12/11/2015

0 Comments

 
Kris can’t dodge this community service but she’ll definitely sidestep her mysterious court-appointed work partner, Ryan Hazzard — even though he previously rescued her.
“Rescued By That New Guy in Town.”
Humorous novel, only $2.99 in digital formats; paperback also available (varied prices); audio version also available (price varies). Clean Reads, 2012.

http://tinyurl.com/RBTNGIT
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0 Comments

Holiday gift: Curing the Uncommon Man-Cold

12/7/2015

0 Comments

 
A boyfriend with the sniffles is the last thing Amanda needs during THIS work crisis. How can Amanda get clueless Jason to leave… without first killing him?
“Curing the Uncommon Man-Cold.”
Screwball comedy in the series, “Amanda Moore or Less.”
Novel, only $2.99 in digital formats; paperback also available (varied prices). Dingbat Publishing, 2013.
Only $2.99 in digital formats: paperback available at various prices.
http://tinyurl.com/ManCold4
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0 Comments

Holiday gift: Hid Wounded Reb

12/5/2015

0 Comments

 
Holiday Gift Suggestion
Hid Wounded Reb
By J.L. Salter


Books are always a wonderful Christmas gift and since so many folks receive Kindles or Nooks (or other electronic readers), you know they’ll want entertaining titles to fill them. .
Cold secrets are finally warming up…and Kelly can feel the heat. The Civil War ended 150 yrs ago – but Kelly has a new fight on her hands and a cold case mystery. “Hid Wounded Reb.” Novel, only $4.99 in digital formats. Clean Reads, 2014. Set in Somerset KY, it’s the exciting prequel to “Called to Arms Again.”
http://tinyurl.com/HWR-JLS
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0 Comments

Holiday gift: One Simple Favor

12/3/2015

0 Comments

 
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One Simple Favor
by J. L. Salter


Ruined vacation & crisis at work. Tricia only wants to be home in bed.
“One Simple Favor.” Action, romance, comedy, suspense — novella, only $1.99 in digital formats; paperback also available (varied prices). Dingbat Publishing, 2015.
Mike’s a total stranger to Tricia, but is he also a cousin-in-law?
http://tinyurl.com/1SF-JLS

0 Comments

Stuck on Cloud Eight -- RELEASED

11/19/2015

0 Comments

 

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Two FIVE-star Amazon reviews in its first three days!
Static Electricity Jolts Their Fingertips–and that’s just the beginning!
As Stuck On Cloud Eight proves, J.L. Salter is a master of the humorous romance. Working at a chiropractor’s office, Keri Winter knows how to handle a man who comes in for treatment: professionally and cold—colder than the electrodes she attaches to his bare skin in the treatment room. Rusty Battle heats her up (quite literally) the moment they touch, when a static charge of electricity jolts their fingertips. Twice. But heated up or not, she’s not in the market for a man, so she tries to shut him out of both her imagination and her treehouse. Getting through Keri’s emotional minefield is no easy task, especially for a man in cowboy boots, so Rusty steps (and missteps) verrrry carefully. You can read Stuck On Cloud Eight for the humor and be touched by the romance. (That’s me.) Or read it for the romance and be tickled by the humor. (Come to think of it, that’s me, too.) It’s a fast read because it’s fun.
By Randy Reynolds on November 17, 2015
Format: Kindle Edition  Verified Purchase
* * * * *
lovely romance
Keri is a nice young lady that has been hurt, Rusty is a handsome young man that wants to get to know her better.
What a beautiful romance. loved it. Had to keep reading to see what he was going to do next to win her heart. He sure had a great imagination.
Nice clean (no sex) fun read. This book is suitable for all ages – I would recommend it for young adults/teens. I normally do not read romance books. but Jeff Salter has me hooked on his.
Looking forward to more of Mr Salter’s adventures.
By ruffy on November 18, 2015
Format: Kindle Edition  Verified Purchase
* * * * *
http://tinyurl.com/SoC8-JLS
0 Comments

Stuck on Cloud Eight

11/7/2015

0 Comments

 

Now available for pre-ordering --- at Amazon and B&N ...
​my new novel (
to be released Nov. 16)

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           Since Keri Winter’s tomboy childhood dream had been to one day possess her own tree house, it does not bother her one bit to be known as Tarzana after she actually builds her home in a tree.
            With a steady job she enjoys, Keri invests most of her late mother’s insurance policy into the design and construction of the only inhabitable tree house in Greene County. The house is a marvel, both in its construction and everyday operation, and attracts significant attention. So does its only occupant.
            But most of the young men in town hold no interest for her at all. In fact, she seems pretty unapproachable – literally and figuratively – with her head up in the clouds. It would take a mighty tall man to reach Keri’s level and attract her romantic interest.
            And even if the right man could reach her, would Keri trust him?
 
            Rusty Battle figures he’s got the right stuff, but in order to prove it, he has to get Keri’s attention.
            They’re about to learn proximity can sometimes make the heart grow fonder…or it just might drive Keri crazy.
            It’s difficult enough to get to know someone on even ground. Can she start over at a higher level?

http://tinyurl.com/SoC8-JLS

0 Comments

Pleased to Meet ME --- new release

10/21/2015

0 Comments

 

Brand new novella from the author of "One Simple Favor" --- Pleased to Meet ME.

"Off the grid" is the last place this city girl wants to be!
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Stumbling through woods in a dark thunderstorm, she doesn’t know where she is, why she’s there, or what happened to all her belongings. Up ahead is the small, isolated cabin of handsome young survivalist Cody Wilder, who’s grown accustomed to his bachelor life off the grid.
Only $2.99 in digital formats
http://tinyurl.com/JLS-P2MM
0 Comments
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    J.L. Salter

    I’ve been a writer since my first poems and stories during elementary school
    days.
    * co-author of two non-fiction monographs (about librarianship) with a royalty publisher, plus a chapter in another book and an article in a specialty encyclopedia
    * I've also published articles, book reviews, and over 120
    poems
    * my writing has won nearly 40 awards, including several in national contests
    * as a newspaper photo-journalist, I published about 150 bylined newspaper articles, and some 100 bylined photos

    * Decorated veteran of U.S.
    Air Force (including a remote tour of duty in the Arctic … at Thule AB in N.W. Greenland).
    * worked nearly 30 years in the field of librarianship.
    * married parent of two and grandparent of six.

    Romantic comedy and
    romantic suspense are among seven completed novel manuscripts.

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